Grandma MIA

I've called my grandma 5 times in the last two weeks. I've left two voice mails. I know that she's still alive because once in a while she 'likes' something on Facebook, and recently I received another one of her e-mail forewords, something about the saddest but most inspiring story you'll ever hear. She's really into sending those now, apparently. I wouldn't know for sure. She hasn't told me. But one thing I know is clear. Grandma is screening my calls.

Doesn't she know I talk to my pharmacist more these days? Does she talk to her pharmacist more than she talks to me?

Where is she?

Is she thinking about me?

Doesn't she know that Christmas is coming in 3 and a half months? If so, she should be sitting at home crocheting my afghan, ready to answer my calls.

Is her flower garden being demanding right now?

Have robbers kidnapped her?

Does she still eat a yogurt every day?

Did she change her number? Did she change her locks, too? Is my fifth grade picture still on her fridge? Does she remember the time we went rafting together and last summer when we went camping?

Is she on vacation? Why hasn't she visited me?

Grandma!